Saturday, December 20, 2008

Running blog #10: Thoughts....Hiiro Kakashi.....Long breaks.....etc

Yesterday afternoon my fever subsided.
While on sick leave I started a word play with Hiiro Kakashi. Yah am playing my imagination with a character and took sometime to bring her out of my frame.
I was awaken today clearing my throat....I'm probably not yet OK. But I dont want to be stucked again all day at home. By the way, yesterday I leave home around 4 PM to grab a few gift wrappers. Wow! The mall was just too crowded.

So I woke up hubby, I ask him if he'd like to run. He agreed on it....maybe because he needed it for the extra caloric consumption during the holiday feast. We tag along the kids......

So I did a 2 laps of run at the island cove at a pace of 7 min/km. Kinda slow in time and mileage....I just can't run that hard....I'm busy imagining.

Well, it's been a long time I hadn't had this long break.
I'm busy thinking what to do.....I even regretted I got sick on the last day of work. Starting monday we had a plant shutdown and we all will be back to work on the 5th of January 2009. It's having a half month break (It's a whooping 15 days off!) Can you imagine? When I first heard about it....I wanted to go home to our province immediately on the 20th. But hubby insisted that he still has work to do...a very important project that requires his attention until the 24th.

Maybe, we can still visit our province on the 26th and be back on the 2nd. We need to bring back the kids to the pulmo on the my 15 days off were slashed down to 7 days...the 8 days I have to crunch the gift wrapping, a whacko party, the tidying up of clutters, run, going to the gym and maybe tutoring matti about writing (if I have the patience....wah! I confesed am not a good teacher.)

I cannot concentrate on my run and my plans for the writing about Hiiro Kakashi is just squeezing in my mind, it's like an internet ad that keeps on popping on the side. Why can't I turn off the pop-ups. I suddenly remember when I was kid, I just have a lot of things in my imagination is just so vivid that I have to write about it. My mother even said I even act on it....they saw me talking like I am with imaginary friend? I guess as I grew up, I lost the naivete of that world....I am now jaded by mundane concerns of everyday living, surviving...this is life.

But blogging bring me back some kiddo in me.......I started writing yesterday to beat the boredom. I guess am starting to hate it....cause it gets in my head. So I have to write the next thing that happened to Hiiro. Here it is:


Hiiro's encounter with Timothy becomes a routine.
They would eat together at the cafeteria. Timothy would drive her off to their house or sometimes pick her up from her work. They would run together. Sometimes they would just sit together in a park without much to talk about....let time passed.
Maybe, this is what bestfriend is all about Hiiro thought.

In one of Hiiro and Sofia's studies....Hiiro recounts to Sofia about her new found friend she was beaming with happiness. Sofia was giggling "You're in love!" she said. "No! I guess he is the bestfriend I never had." Hiiro retorted back. "Besides, I can't love him." she insisted. "But why? " Sofia inquired. "Because he can never love me back." Hiiro said softly. "The kind of story you told me, I can sense that he is in love you." Sofia mused. "How is that possible?" Hiiro replied with defiance. "I just know!" came Sofia's reply "I guess you should ask him." Then a long silence.

Hiiro is academically good, she is smart and practical. She is brave...she doesn't care....she has no beauty to take care of anyway she thought so why fear....let alone people fear her fiery eyes.

She gained her father's love when she started bringing honor for the family....she has always been the top of her class. But her mother doesn't care about it. Her mother only think the superficial in her mind "Beauty transcends everything." Her father on the other hand regretted why she became a daughter instead a son....He could have given her his time, his attention, his love. Hiiro becomes a domestic issue between the spouse....when the father came to Hiiro's aide this becomes an issue with the mother for intervening the discipline in the household. So her father loved her in silence.

Hiiro's thought about her parents were interrupted by Timothy. He tossed 3 bars of cadbury hazel nut chocolate bar in front of her. It's Hiiro's favorite treat. "Thinking deeply huh!" Timothy blurted out. "Yah! am thinking about my mom." came Hiiro's sad reply. "Why?" "Anything wrong? Something happened?" Timothy enquired. Hiiro laughed at the sight of Timothy's face, he looked worried. "Oh! no. Nothing. I was just thinking about my relationship with her." Timothy's face softened. "Wanted to talk about it?" He gave her an encouraging smile.
So Hiiro relate to Timothy her very sour relationship with her mother....she cannot help but cry....It was mixed emotion....part of her feels relieved for sharing her life....part of her feels ashamed that her mother is not a person of substance...this is the first time that she relates her story to someone and it made her felt vulnerable....she was sobbing....she was asking why God has given her this kind of face that a mother cannot love.
Timothy hold her tight....he doesn't know what to can a mother not love her own child. He wiped away her tears and grabbed the chocolate bar and tear opened it and offerred Hiiro to have some...."You'll feel better." He said....he can feel the lump on his throat....he pity this girl....she is special to him and he doesn't think she is ugly as she repeatedly said it.
Hiiro smiled politely and eat the chocolate. Yah it felt better she thought. Timothy squeezed her shoulder and they moved closer. Hiiro snug her head across Timothy's muscled chest...she felt so secured. They sat in silence until darkness fell.

Hiiro went home late.
Her mother scolded her because Sofia has to wash the dishes. "It's OK mom!" Sofia shouted to defend her sister. Then the roaring argument went on.

Hiiro locked to her bedroom...not because she's mad. She cannot contain her feelings she felt the love around her....Timothy, Sofia and her dad. Imagine, Sofia and her dad came to defend her from her mom. "If I can only save this time.....I'll go back time and again....." she thought. This is the happiest day of her life. She was talking to herself in between prayers...she was crying....tears of joy......then came her pondering question....when can mom love me.

Sofia stormed in her room and as soon as she closed the door, she was giggling and been relentlessly asking Hiiro where she had been...."Stop cryin' sissy....I bet you were out on a date!" she was beamingly happy for her sister.

I have been writing for several hours now....I guess this is enough. I can hear the kids. I guess I have to yoga to clear my head........this is a little scary when something is stuck in my head.

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