Friday, June 18, 2010

My feet feats ...

I was out for awhile from running in my favorite playground.
     I remember when I started running in GBP 3X a week when I was still super husband was amazed by my improvements whenever we had our weekend runs.....those were some of my fondest memories when I was just starting to run.

Yesterday, after that long 18 days. The weather is nice and hubby is on rest day for his softball game- so I was given the chance to finally get my feet to run. Hongestly, though I wanted to run the past 18 days....something holds off- I don't want to run in my playground....not yet. Because, Hours before my first full marathon - something happened to me that make me feel depressed.
Running the full marathon the following day helps me relieved of some pain....but it didn't go away.....then I decided to do half-marathon the following week after my full, hoping to make me feel better.

Days prior Natures Valley I decided to contact Sir Jovie to claim my 1000km finisher shirt and finally get to meet him. I was hoping that these small achievements in my running life will ease the pain in my heart. All the excitements and happiness seemed temporal.
All those achievements seemed not to help me....but I kept my silence....I cannot write....I cannot visit my FB....I just feel alone and unhappy. This is terrible for me considering it is my birth month....I felt like a loser...and this person who did wrong to me won the game.

While I was running yesterday.....the gift of good hormones finally dawned upon me. I was able to reconcile myself. Become proud of what I have accomplished.....I know mine was just a baby steps perhaps....but it helped me a lot. One surprising article from Sir Jovie of  BaldRunner helped me uplift my spirit.

I realized way back- someone asked from a blog (I can't remember the blogger anymore)....are there lonely runners? Well, I guess there is....I am when I cannot run.

After yesterday's run- I know I was healed. I have forgiven the person. But the act, perhaps I cannot forget. Being victim of discrimination is really very difficult especially because I am a woman. Women are perceived weak....but my inner soul screamed that I am strong, capable and must be treated with equal rights.

Running help me keep my sanity. Running makes me feel that I am strong. I know I am good in this sport- maybe not the best.
My feet feats says....I am a marathoner, though I consider myself newbie but nobody can take it away from me.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

15 DAYS without running and counting.....

I wish I was injured so there are no more pains in my chest as I write this blog (the drama!).
Sigh! I can't run because everything takes on priorities- home repairs/maintenance which took us four long years before doing it again sigh!, children school starts at 7 AM and everybody gets to sleep at 8 PM sharp!

I could actually run 3 AM- I can wake up at this time of the day....but there's no running area available before 4 AM (I am referring to island cove- the nearest available running route for me)....the housing is filled with stray dogs.....very unsafe to run here tsk!tsk!tsk! I tried it once and went back home- as I was not ready to do speed run ;-(

I felt very unfortunate.....when everybody was doin' their workout.
I am here counting on calories with housework....child care and well typing on keyboards.
Luckily, I haven't gain much weight because even if I devour  2 rice on breakfast- I hardly gain weight....but that's not my mood is starting to swing in various direction.....I felt so isolated. Sometimes, when my head is spinning I try the resistance band....I am hopeless these days (and on my favorite month- aw!!!).
Suddenly, I wonder if I could still meet my personal targets.
Will I ever do Milo??

I am tempted to buy a treadmill....will I run like a rat?
Oh my...excuse me for the treadmill runners (no offense intended)- but I just couldn't stand the 30 minute run on this machine.

I content myself reading the blogs of fellow runner and DM friends during noon breaks....great run folks!

Oh! I miss the road.