Post PTC

Shy away from one month, I'd be celebrating a year without Thyroid, post Thyroidectomy last year (my last entry where I shared my prayers).

What does it mean?

I am Hypothyroid for life. It is now part of my life goals to maintain a TSH level of <0.1 to ensure a euthyroid state.

Last June, I had the scariest realization. The PTC could be resistant, worse, I could be in a recurrent PTC (Papillary Thyroid Cancer) state. It stems from an ultrasound, low RIA, and high Anti-Thyroglobulin results. You have no idea of the anxiety it brought me, and I was not able to do anything because I have tons of projects to finish.

By, end of October, I pushed to go on withdrawal to increase my TSH to 30 mIU/ml and undergo a full body scan.

It was a conscious decision, but I was not prepared for what I would feel during the withdrawal process of the Levothyroxine, which is my ally in ensuring I have the hormones I need for metabolic function.

All the symptoms of Hypothyroidism that I haven't felt in the past creep in. Fatigue, mood swings, I say slight depression (since I am aware this is a possibility, I have been trying my best to push out negative thoughts and replace them with constant prayer "Jesus I Trust In YOU"). I can't even do a full rosary, which I would always do, at the point of my withdrawal, and as of this writing, I can't. I am glad I could do the Angelus. I am not pushing myself. I am asking the Lord, and Mama Mary and all the Saints to pray for me, that I may have the strength to come back to my prayer routine.

Other symptoms include dry eyes, and I noticed a change in my vision. My reflexes are still weak. My sleep is not good. My heartbeat is very irregular, and my chest feels heavy.

After 2 weeks of Levothyroxine withdrawal, my TSH shoots up to 72 mIU/ml. Overt Hypothyroidism.

The whole body scan was carried out perfectly. But I didn't know that there would be a low dose of RadioIsotopes I131 at 2-3 mci, which necessitates me to isolate (since I don't want to impact pregnant women and children). I guess the isolation adds up to anxiety. I am grateful that I can arrange a WFH (work from home) setup.

I am just glad I am back on medication. Slowly, I am trying my best to recover. The medication will take full effect after 45 days. So I am being patient with myself. I am giving myself permission to feel everything. Make an assessment, take note, and take action, such as practicing breathing exercises every hour, because the chest feels heavy. Doing simple stretches at a minimal count of 5, and so on and so forth. When I feel a sugar crash, I permit myself to eat a bit of dark chocolate to kick in sugar and boost my attention because I feel sleepy (which is perhaps because I have difficulty sleeping). I have been sleep-deprived for the last 3 weeks. If there is any consolation, the whole body scan results did not yield any scintigraphic evidence of distant functioning metastasis, or in layman's terms, a recurrence of cancer. I am beyond grateful that my prayers are heard.

Since my operation, I refuse to acknowledge that I am somehow disabled and consider that my disability is not that much. However, I now understand the weight of this disease. 

There is no turning back time; I was deceived all along. I maintained Levothyroxine at a dose of 25 mcg for more than a decade, doing what I can to prevent any mishaps like lifestyle changes that might impact my thyroid. I used to run a lot, eat only clean food, then COVID came, and I stopped my fitness routine in favor of safety. Then, I struggled to come back and take back my habit. I guess that was it when my thyroid was deteriorating. Reflecting on those moments, I asked myself, was I at fault? Did I not fight enough to save my thyroid? I succumbed to fear, anxiety, and stress since 2020, which I realized is indeed bad for the thyroid.

If I could offer advice, don't stress too much. As the Bible says, Matthew 6:34, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

As I write this, I am grateful to unload my thoughts, hoping and believing that God will grant me the strength to deal with the cards I have been dealt. So help me, God!

#PTC, #PapillaryThyroidCancer #Thyroid #Hypothyroidism

A day to remember Dec 16 2024

 Heavenly Father, Almighty God, I stand before You filled with awe and admiration! I adore You, believe in Your promises, love You deeply, and I fully entrust my life into Your loving hands. It is through You that I draw my strength and find my purpose!

Dear Jesus, I humbly lay this Yoke before You. I am ready to embrace the challenges of my recovery, united with the very suffering You endured, even if just for a while.

As I reflect on nearly a year of this journey, I recognize the struggles I had in managing my situation. I kept much of it to myself, sharing only bits and pieces with family and friends. I didn’t want them to worry about the diagnosis, so I tried to reassure them with a hopeful outlook.

Hearing that “C” word sparked anxiety, so I chose to hold off on sharing until I had a final diagnosis and gathered several thoughts from my trusted doctors.

Each time I consulted with my medical team, I prayed for a divine resonance in their words, seeking Your guidance in finding a compassionate and skilled surgeon who would care for me as You would. I also turned to the Saints for their intercession, especially Saint Joseph, the spouse of Mother Mary, Saint John the Baptist, Saint Anthony de Padua, Saint Michael the Archangel, and Our Lady of Peñafrancia, our Mother of Salvation. I asked for their constant prayers as I prepared for my surgery.

I am immensely grateful to all those who promised to pray for me, along with the dedicated members of the Crusade Prayer group of Jesus to Mankind. May God bless you for your kindness and compassion!

Thank You, Jesus, for placing me in the capable hands of an exceptional surgeon. I’m filled with gratitude for the outstanding results and the retention of my speaking voice (and I silently hope to improve my singing voice, so I can sing even more praises to You). I also give thanks for avoiding the usual hypocalcemia and extreme cold in the recovery room—a blessing among blessings. In all of this, I felt Your warm embrace, a reminder that You are always by my side and that sincere prayers are heard when they align with the Holy Will of God.

I love You, Jesus! I praise God the Most High, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit for the guidance You offer, reminding me that our God is a Living God, ever-present and active in our lives!

Unseen

Once upon a time, we were free.

We roam the world, and we test our strength, we scale anything and beat our comfort zone.

Our adventurous hearts yearn to conquer all our fears.

We feel alive at the deepest ocean, we wade across rivers and scale the mountain, the thrill of the trails.

Our spirit roars, and we laugh at silly tirades, we sleep soundly with the aching body in the fullness of ourselves.

It was in my mind in my memory, unseen to many.

I woke up one day. I heard about this crisis looming.

I give it a brush, way back Dec my baby says, “Mom! It sounds like another black plague.”

I laugh at her musing; it must be another fear-mongering gang spreading bad vibes across the world to gain from it.

She didn’t know I did some research; this must be an angel warning.

Jan, various news spreading about Wuhan, and she said to me…” could it be what I told you, mom?”

“I don’t know!” I tell her.

I thought we live in a tropical country and it can’t be. At those times, it seemed the virus is prevalent in cold-weather countries.

Suddenly, someone came in from Wuhan to the Philippines. All those that were traced and contacted by the patient turned negative. I sigh in relief, and I thought it wouldn’t escalate.

Fast forward today, we are here at home. We cannot even go outside.

My feet are still, no running, just meditation. This situation is the impact of COVID19.

I look back to the days we were at the beach.

I look back to the days we hike the mountain.

I miss mother nature.

I love working alone; I am an introvert; this works well with me – work from home.

But the panic and anxiety deep inside me. The fear of the unseen. The fear of what could come up after this.

Suddenly, the voices in my head are alive again. The things that I saw in my nightmares, haunting me back. I don’t want to fall asleep. I want them unseen.

Running blog #71

Sunday Mar 23, 5:30 AM, we finally found ourselves in a running coral where a race is about to begin....I thought it was just a dream....after pinching my face several times it was surreal I'm here!

The Yakult 10mi is on it's 25th staging of their own brand of race. I heard that it had been there since the 80s. 

The cards were played right we were able to register, the fee is reasonable, the venue is a 30 minute drive from home...and finally we have our nanny to keep the kids company.

We were on time during the race. I didn't have problem waking up early. Slept well last night. Pre race meal is just hot water and 2 slices wheat bread with butter.

Maybe I could come back doing races.... I like the feel of this race...I have no problem being served with just water since it's been 3 yrs that I hadn't taken a sports drink. I love the simplicity. I could do away with the finisher shirt and singlet....I hope some organizer would consider that it would also lessen the costs for those stuff. 

I think what I look after a race is just simply to be able to run without traffic for vehicle and security. The rest is just an add on.

Hats off to the organizer and congratulations to all the finishers.

By the way, the photo below was grabbed from PinoyFitness and Running Photographers FB Photo compilation. I'm glad I have found at least two shots.

Post race:

Look who I bumped in a chance encounter 😊

No other than my idol Elma Muros

Photo ops 2014

Forgive all the wrinkles....and I don't think I could photoshop it any better. I love growing old, and I love the color of my nails that early this year I decided to have a photoshoot and update my portfolio lol

2014 here I am

Post run view last Thursday.

There's too much work even during lunch break I have a meeting.

So I decided to run after office.

There's too much in my plate that day and I try to run away...I ended my workout at 10 k. It was awesome!

Am not a good cook but I try to be creative in the kitchen on weekend.
Today I made squid with something Bicolano brand dish for dinner and my version of turnip (singkamas) kimchee and this afternoon a pasta dish for the kids snack.

Interested with the recipe? Drop me some email so I could writ it here (ya know this is not a food blog eh and am too lazy to post detail via mobile blog hehehe
)

Balancing

I'm trying to improve my balance through yoga. Thanks to the wall, it gives me a foresight of what inversions feels like. ❤

Mad about yoga

"Yoga is the ability to direct the mind exclusively toward an object and sustain that direction without any distractions." Yoga-Sutra 1:2, Book of yoga.

Six years ago I've been practicing yoga. I would meditate and practice some asana for 45 minutes. And it felt so great. That I actually credit my weight loss to yoga.
Then I got hook to running and will just do simple standing asana post run.
Simply put it, I lost it. The mat was kept, books dusted and my limbs forgot how to be flexible and some body part got tight.

Two weeks ago, I started again with my fit ball. Did some bridge pose over the ball for protection. Then hubby told me about yogify app that's free and reviewed as one of the smartest fitness app.
I downloaded it and since then been practicing 15 minute sun salutation post lunch run. Hooray!

Tonight, I tried to go further. I want to know if I can handle the 45 minute practice. I got busted after 30 mins. I can't hold any further.

I know practice, practice and keep on practicing is the key to perfect any pose.

#Lunchworkout

When I am not running outside.
I hide from the sun, gliding through elliptical runner or taking my own portraits in between breathes.

#iwantsomenuscles lol

When I missed lunch workout

This is my routine when I missed lunch workout. Lol

Weekend cooking

Today I cook something special. A high protein pasta to support the kids on their upcoming exam.

Ingredients:
Pasta- cooked as directed.
For the sauce
Chopped Onion
Chopped Garlic
Chopped ginger
At least six medium size tomato sliced thinly
Home made Spanish sardines (I used the one I made yesterday)
Chopped Cilantro
Crushed Pistachio
Parsley
Olive oil
Extra virgin olive oil for drizzles.
Fish sauce

Sauté the onion, ginger and garlic add tomato. Then 1 tsp of fish sauce is added and crushed pepper. Then add the Spanish sardines and simmer by low heat. From time to time I add some more of olive oil to avoid drying the mixture. After 2 mins add pistachio and cilantro. Before closing the fire drizzle with extra virgin olive oil.

Then serve it parsley and few nuts of pistachio!

A week post marathon

Reverse taper mode.

Photo blog #23: Recovery mode

No stairs today!

Recommendation from the running ninja to wear CWX at sleep, used foam rollers to elevate my legs.

Photo blog #22: The 26.2 miles journey

I still can't believe I dared the distance of 26.2 miles.
After 2 years I was there yesterday trying to conquer the skyway...mentally and physically.

And I did! I'm still afloat from the runner's high, it's those sore muscles that keeps me grounded hahaha...

The medal!

Photo ops at the heart break hill

Official finish time 05:26:54

My music - a collection of songs and podcast

The story of 26 miles of variability

Photo blog #21: Journey to 14 days of fitness

Last christmas vacay before leaving home, I weighed myself and I was at a tip of 52 kgs. That information sounds nice, I am looking forward to maintain it,  besides we planned to stay only for  6 days in our hometown as my man is about to beat some yearender deadline.

When we came back....after much fuss of unpacking, I weighed myself again only to find out I gained not 1 but 4 kg. Waah! I was whooping 56 kg by Dec 26, that was a Thursday. Ouch! And I can't even run till Saturday. Aside from the fact that I don't have a nanny...I got pestering blisters on my feet, courtesy of kindred allergy. 

Come saturday I was itching to run...so I decided to go on a fitness journey. I dared myself do fitness activity everyday in the hope to slash back those extra pounds from the holiday. This blog entry is dedicated  to my journey to14 days of fitness.

I documented that 10 days challenge to fitness through instagram with a hashtag #dayXchallenge (where X indicates the day progress).

My photo ops lasted 11 days but total work out days from Dec 29 is 14 days.

And on January 12- I did only 2 kms at stationary bike. I think it would be indecent to count it in my instagram photo-ops considering it was actually my first official break.

I weighed myself again Jan 13, tipped at 53 kgs.

And couldn't lose anymore...it would be unsafe for my upcoming marathon race.

Now, I conclude 3 kgs is worth about 14 days of workout, sweat and mental challenge. I could quit anytime but I kept telling myself do it at least more than 10 days. Lol!

Yeah...am crazy. I can't help it...I love being mobile!

Dec 29, I did 5 miles; Dec 30- 20 mi, race (photo ops with BR); Dec 31- 2.9 mi; Jan 1- stationary bike 6 mi

Still sleepy....but mounted on the stationary bike. This is my 4th day

My 5th day. Interval training thx to Runkeeper

My 6th day- lunch run at work

Resistance band training at home and stationary bike



My 8th day- strength almost waning.



Sample of entry in IG #dayXchallenge

Back to RUNch...while everyone enjoy lunch, I try to be positive with the sun.

And more sun...

Because am having a lunch meeting...a quick run in the morning

Back to lunch running

Stationary bike...

My cup of tea

Time flies so fast.. I woke up and it's 2013.
It was just yesterday when my 2012 cup of tea is half empty.

Now, I'm starting to fill my empty cup with tea and hot water.

Cheers!

Running blog #70: December Races

I rarely race but this December I realized I did 3 fun run. Oops I exceeded my quota of at least one race per quarter lol!

Dec 8- Sabado Night Run, 6k, 36:00
Dec 23- Run for Pablo, 10k, 1:04
Dec 30- Rizal Day Run, 32km, 4:24 (unofficial)

What I like about these races are the intimacy between organizers and runners, it's no frills and provides the basic need of the runners...to run and be hydrated and above all enjoy. I don't have issues with not having sport drinks because I prefer water and clif shot bloks. Cold water should be enough.

This morning was my first attendance of BR events. I love how the race was conducted. The route, hydration and fuel support was very strategic. I wish to regularly run this race as this is timely for me to shed off excess fat gained during the holiday. I feel so plump during the first 5k, I gained about 3 kg during the holiday plus 5 days of inactivity, it felt terrible. I feel so heavy. See how much it slowed me to Gary's pace lol!

I discovered that I enjoy having skyflakes during a long run. The hot noodles were welcoming to my groaning tummy and of course the usual saba or boiled banana.
BR's race is one of kind. I forego taking the softdrinks being served because my tummy's sensitive with carbonated drinks.
How I wish to join his other events. But I doubt that given his mainstream is ultra running. This is probably the only race my body could afford haha. I really feel happy completing the race even if it took me huffing and puffing on the final stretch.

My last race is a great cap off for 2012, it's only fitting to dedicate this run to the man who has given so much to the Filipino people. Hats off to Dr Jose Rizal.

Happy new year to all!

Souvenir shots with the BR & The top 4 finisher.

Dalagan Pablo- Race for the victims of typhoon Pablo.

Photoblog #20: Christmas vacay

Vacation is over (weeping....uh oh! I want some more!)

As I browse some of my mobile photos I can't help but marvel at the beautiful places of Bicolandia. Here are some of my fave collage: